


That's What Makes You, You

by Ernqi12leong



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Acceptance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ernqi12leong/pseuds/Ernqi12leong
Summary: Mikasa has always been the one beside Eren, devoting her life to protect him. What if one day, he switched Mikasa, for the lovely Krista Lenz instead?Mikasa tries to imitate Krista in all aspects of life to gain Eren's attention, therefore almost losing her true self before her captain, Levi noticed her every move. Can he show her what true love means?
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi, Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Comments: 66
Kudos: 122
Collections: Rivamika & Erehisu





	1. Fear

It's about time she faced her fears. 

The fear of nowhere to belong to, the fear of death itself, and most importantly: the fear of Eren's hate towards herself. 

The countless times Mikasa Ackerman devoted her own life to protect Eren's, none of them were appreciated by him. And that was okay, as long as she had him by her side, she would relentlessly give anything up. Even if Eren did not care, even if Eren hated her that way. She would do all she can to make sure he was safe. It was a deathbed promise to Mrs. Jaeger, and of her unfaltering love for him. 

However, it seems as if even the smallest of mishaps, could change someone irrevocably. 

A heavy, impregnable silence hung awkwardly in the atmosphere of the mess hall, the occupants quietly eating whatever grub they were given for dinner. Questionably, the Scouts should have been given better rations and treatment from what they were enduring now, since they were the ones to risk their lives outside the safety of the walls, but that wasn't the case. 

Mikasa stared at her bowl of cold soup, the grimy contents swirling in it, with an old wooden spoon sticking out and resting on the side of the bowl, appetite gone. All she could think of was how Eren almost lost his life to the Female Titan in the expedition this morning. How they came back battered and bloody, unavoidable casualties piling atop their heads.

"Mikasa? Eat something." Armin prodded her with a gentle hand on her forearm, gently shaking her from her thoughts. "You're gonna get an upset stomach if you don't."

An upset stomach? How does that matter? 

"Armin, is Eren up yet? Did he eat dinner?" The raven-haired girl bombarded her friend with questions, completely ignoring what he said earlier. If she had to worry about something, it would be Eren before anything. 

"No, he isn't awake yet. Mikasa, you have to take care of yourself first." Armin firmly grabbed her shoulder with all his might, trying to ensure she sat on the bench and ate before leaving, but Mikasa pushed his hand away with ease, standing up from her seat and ran off to the barracks, leaving a stunned Armin behind. 

*****

The door was slightly ajar as Mikasa made a sharp turn at the corner, her feet skidding to a halt in front of Eren's room. Gingerly, she pushed the door open, peeking in.

The room was small but tidy, a book rack placed against the wall to the right and a desk placed against the wall in front of the only window present in the space. To the left of the room, Eren lay on a bed that was placed against the wall with soft white sheets covering his injured body. 

Leaving the door slightly open, Mikasa walked over to the bed, approaching a long wooden bench placed beside it and sat down heavily. She looked at Eren with a bandage wrapped around his forehead as a sigh escaped her lips. She then removed her scarlet red scarf from her neck, folding it and placing it on her lap. 

A few threads were poking out from the fabric, worn out from all the years of use. Mikasa smiled at the sight, slowly running her fingers over the soft scarf. To her, Eren's scarf was basically priceless. She would do anything in her power to keep it, no matter the circumstances. Tears sprang to her eyes, threatening to fall as she was reminded of the day Eren wrapped this scarf around her. Her parents' death, the day she first took someone's life… The events came rushing one by one back to Mikasa, replaying in her head. It came at her like an unstoppable tide of waves, almost drowning her…

"Mi-Mikasa?"

The red scarf slid down her lap when Mikasa jerked slightly in her seat, startled at the sound of Eren's voice. 

"Mikasa?" He repeated again, waving his hand in front of her. At that, Mikasa blinked a few times, gaze focusing on the boy in front of her. 

"E-Eren, are you alright? Does your head hurt? Or are you hungry?" She quickly stood and helped Eren sit upright, plumping the pillow behind his back to support him. 

The brunette let out a sigh of frustration. "I'm fine Mikasa. You can stop worrying over me now." He lightly pushed the girl's hands off the pillow behind his back as she was adjusting it to his posture, and continued fixing it himself. 

"I insist to help you, Eren. Let me-"

"Shut up, Mikasa!"

That phrase immediately quieted her, her hands falling to her sides. Never once did Eren say such a thing to her, even though he did hint at it a few times. But he never shouted at her that way, as if she was an enemy in the way of his goal. Mikasa's lips trembled, tears welling up in her beautiful grey eyes. "I'm sorry, Eren-"

"Don't even dare finish that sentence! I've had enough of you, Mikasa Ackerman. I'm done with your endless worry and concern. You do realize that you're a nuisance?" Eren lashed out, his green eyes clouded with a storm. 

"I don't want to waste my time talking to you, so please, if you do care about my best interests, leave me alone."

"W-What?" Mikasa asked, a tear already making its way down her cheek. She bent down and picked up her fallen red scarf, holding it close to her chest. 

The brown haired boy grunted, throwing his pillow at her with full force, hitting her face in the process. "Go away, you heard me. You're an Ackerman, yet you can't save any one of the soldiers that died. You're a nuisance to me, Mikasa." He looked at the wall beside him, his words dripping with hatred and anger. 

More tears fell from her eyes, and Mikasa ducked her head down. She didn't want to show Eren that she was a weakling, or that she cried because he told her the truth. 'I'm a nuisance, I'm annoying to him,' she thought, picking up the pillow that fell by her feet on the ground and setting it on the desk before the window. 

Without looking up, the girl left the room, but this time, she closed the door behind her gently before leaving. 


	2. The Angel (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa has seen Eren and Krista together, what would she think? What would she do afterwards?

"Hey Eren, how are you feeling?" 

Eren shot up in bed when he heard the sweet, angelic voice of Krista Lenz, who stood by the door with a tray in her hands. A bowl was placed on the tray, some steam wafting from it. She smiled to see him, pushing the door open with her body and made her way over to where Eren was. 

"I'm doing good." He replied, sitting up straighter than he did before. As Eren's eyes swept past the tray Krista was holding, he caught a glimpse of the contents in it. The aromatic scent of vegetable soup made his stomach growl in response, making the girl laugh. "You're hungry aren't you?" She teased, taking a seat on the bench Mikasa sat on earlier, placing the tray carefully on Eren's lap, and picked up a wooden spoon. 

Krista ladled a spoonful of soup, gently blowing on it before bringing it to Eren's mouth, while the boy put on a surprised expression. "It's alright, Krista. I can feed myself."

"Aw come on, Eren. You're injured. Just let me do this for once, okay?" The girl sweetly smiled, her cornflower blue eyes shining radiantly. That made him smile shyly in return, accepting the spoonful of soup, gulping it down. 

Krista repeated her action, continuing to feed Eren. The two talked and laughed together, all the while not noticing a figure was watching them from the door, pale white hands trembling as they gripped the door frame tightly, watching their every move quietly. 

*****

It was a peaceful afternoon for the Captain of the Special Operations Squad, and Levi spent the day lounging in his office. He lay down on his bed, draping an arm across his face to block out any sunlight and shut his eyes, trying to get some rest.

These days were hectic as usual, with a lot of wounded soldiers to tend to, including himself. It was rather unbelievable that Humanity’s Strongest Soldier would hurt himself in any way in a mission, but this time… He surprisingly thought it was worth it. 

‘Wait, what am I thinking?’ Levi shot up from his bed, eyes slightly widened. Those disgusting thoughts were already affecting him in this way, and he weirded out by how he was already thinking like those new brats.

Suddenly, a flash of her raven black hair, her beautiful grey eyes appeared in his mind. The girl he saved a few days ago from hot headedly pursuing the Female Titan, Mikasa was her name, wasn’t it? ‘Come to think of it, she was so focused on saving Eren she didn’t even care about her own safety.’

“Tch,” Levi grunted, falling onto his bed again while pulling a pillow onto his face. He hissed when the impact of his body falling onto the bed made his injured leg hurt again, but ignored it as it slowly turned to a dull throb. He hadn’t told the medics of his condition either, assuming that it would be embarrassing to see him injured over a girl. Yet judging by the way it hurt, his injuries must be worse than he anticipated. 

A loud punching sound came from outside Levi's open window, followed by a grunt. It sounded female, was someone trying to train? 

The captain got off his bed, limping over to the window and poked his head out. His office had a perfect view of the training courtyard, probably so he could supervise the other Scouts training even in the comfort of his own quarters. Under the bright afternoon sun, a girl with black ebony hair that grazed her collar punched the sawdust bag hanging from a post, her hair swaying about her face as she bounced back to avoid the bag swinging back at her. She was wearing a white button up top with a red scarf wrapped around her neck, paired with the usual pants and combat boots. 

The girl let out another angry shout, her brows furrowed as she focused on the punching bag and raised her right leg, giving it a forceful kick. Even Levi was taken aback by her technique, almost flawless in every aspect. 

As soon as the bag was sent swinging back and forth from the impact of the kick, she sat down and panted heavily, legs outstretched in front of her. She leaned back on her hands, looking up to the sky with her eyes closed. 

'That's the girl I saved that day,' Levi thought, leaning on the window sill on his elbows as he continued to observe the rookie. Thinking that he didn't even have any chance to talk to her after the incident, he bolted out of his room as quickly as his leg would allow and headed downstairs.

*****

Sighing, Mikasa looked up at the blue sky, the sweltering hot sun scorching down right above her. The puffy white clouds floated freely in the endless expanse of blue, a flock of birds flying overhead. How could the day be so wonderful when things are going impeccably wrong? 

Not to deny what she had seen earlier in Eren's room, she never knew they were this close to each other before. The sweet angelic Krista Lenz and the so-called suicidal maniac, Eren Jaeger. Was it because of her happy demeanor? That uplifting aura of pure innocence surrounding her wherever she went? Maybe she could brighten Eren's day whenever he was in the lowest depths of his emotional gorge?

Too bad, Mikasa knew she could never be that. A happy girl was something she could never be, ever since her parents' abrupt death, she knew deep inside she would never ever be genuinely happy anymore. Unless she was with Eren. 

Ah, how she longed to be loved in return as much as she loved him. Ever since the day he rescued her, wrapped his own red scarf around her neck to warm her and invited her to his home, Mikasa's ice cold heart had warmed to him. He showed her a happiness that she could never feel with anyone else, not even Armin. She felt at peace whenever she knew Eren was safe and well, while when he wasn't she would feel worried to an extent where as if the world was ending. 

As she was deep in thought, Mikasa felt the warm sunlight on her face, her cheeks flustering from the heat. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead, mingling with her tears. Eren and Krista seemed so happy together, while she was a mere outsider looking at them from the outside. If she were more like Krista, she could… 

"What are you doing out in the heat, brat? You want to get a heat stroke?"

Mikasa's eyes snapped open, instantly recognizing the voice. "Ah, captain? Surprised you could find me." She said rather sarcastically, pushing herself onto her knees and stood. 

Levi let out a sigh, saying: "My office overlooks the training courtyard, you idiot."

"Oh, I see…" was all Mikasa could say, brushing some of her hair that was sticking onto her forehead. She lightly tugged at the scarf around her neck, finally noticing how hot the day was. 

After a moment of observing the girl's red puffy eyes, the captain moved to a tall wooden post and leaned on it, arms crossing his chest in a casual manner. "You've been crying?"

"Who told you I was crying? I wasn't!" 

"I know an idiot when I see one, your eyes are so puffy and red I might have mistaken you got an allergy reaction." He scoffed, looking away from her. He glanced up at the sky Mikasa was facing earlier, noticing the white fluffy looking clouds that reminded him of the times Farlan, Isabel and he would guess the shapes that the clouds form in the sky. "So you might as well be honest, I won't tell anyone."

Mikasa bit her lower lip nervously. It has been long since she cried, and even longer since she met someone who wanted to listen to her problems. She pulled her outstretched legs and sat cross-legged on the grass, her fingers occupied with a cord on her combat boot. "Are you sure you want to listen, Captain?"

"Of course I want to. Why else would I be asking?"

As soon as she was about to blurt the truth out word for word, Mikasa stopped. Instead, she asked. "Captain, do you think I'm a nuisance? Would you prefer a softer and brighter version of me? Or a gloomy idiot like I am now?"

Levi didn't expect a question regarding her personality, blinking a few times in thought before averting his gaze back on her. "Why do you ask that?"

"Please, Captain. I want to know."

The Captain pushed himself off the wooden post, walking over to Mikasa and forcefully grabbed her scarf, pulling her closer to him. They were so close their noses almost touched, and she could smell the fresh citrus scent clinging onto him. 

"Well, I'm not really sure why the hell you asked that, but let me tell you this: I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Too stunned to say anything, Mikasa just stared as her captain let go of her scarf and pushed her onto the ground, walking back to the building at a leisurely pace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of my first RM fanfic! Hope my readers enjoyed this ^^


	3. The Angel (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my readers! I hope you're doing well! Here is a new chapter of That's What Makes You, You. 
> 
> Also, my apologies if you can't imagine the scenes due to my not-very-good descriptions of the interior of the headquarters, I will try my best to improve! 
> 
> Once again, thank you and enjoy ^^

A few days later, the evening went by as usual, with the Survey Corps soldiers performing their last duties for the day. Captain Levi's Special Operations Squad was sent off to clean the headquarters as usual, starting off with the mess hall. 

"Hey Eren, bet you can't wipe every table here in two minutes. You're too busy being angry." Jean laughed, tossing a washcloth in the brunette's direction, who caught it swiftly in both hands with a scowl. 

He dunked the cloth in a pail of water he prepared, squeezing the excess. "Is that a challenge, horse face?" He taunted, glaring across the hall at the other. 

Mikasa stopped her sweeping and glanced at Eren nervously for a moment, as she could predict what would happen if he replied to Jean in that way. 

Jean stuck his tongue out at the boy, and said: "Yes it is, angry Titan boy."

Furiously, Eren slammed a fist on the nearest wooden table. "Who can finish their own row of tables first, can take the loser's lunch rations tomorrow. And by finish, I mean by Captain Levi's standards."

"Eren, you're still recovering-" Mikasa started, holding out a hand to stop him from getting into trouble, which he rudely interrupted. 

"Stop it Mikasa! I can take care of myself, so you don't need to be a jerk and get in my way. Plus, I can't stand this horse face anymore."

Jean furrowed his brows at the blunt words Eren threw to Mikasa just for being concerned about him. "Hey, I don't think that's how you should talk to her."

"Is that your business now? I am talking to my sister, and I can do it however I like."

Mikasa bit her lower lip, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment for getting in the way. "I'm sorry." She whispered, low enough for the two of them to hear before resuming her duties. 

Connie awkwardly looked from Eren to Mikasa, taken aback at his rudeness. He shrugged at Sasha, who gave him a puzzled look. "Well, you guys are still competing? We could be your referees!" He piped up in an attempt to try to relieve the group of the tense atmosphere. 

After getting a nod of confirmation from both boys, Sasha raised her hand, while Connie counted down from three. "Three, two, ONE!"

And off they go, furiously wiping and cleaning the dust and dirt from the wooden tables in the hall. There were some food scraps beneath them, and they took care to clear it out. 

Krista came in just in time to see the two boys scrubbing at the tables, stopping by Mikasa at one end of the hall. "What's happening?" She asked, setting the box she was carrying down on the floor with a grunt and stretched her sore arms. 

Mikasa lightly shrugged, maintaining an indifferent expression, but her gray eyes showed off a glint of pain and anger. She wordlessly continued with her sweeping, and Krista gulped, picking up her box and left Mikasa's side. 

All of a sudden, a loud crashing sound came from the hall. Mikasa, Connie, Sasha and Krista quickly ran towards where Jean was standing, trying to help Eren up. 

It seems that Eren had tripped over his bucket of water amidst his rush to win and hit his head on the corner of one of the tables. A bruise formed on the left of his forehead, using his left hand to cover it up while standing to his feet with Jean's help. 

"Eren, are you okay?" Krista asked before Mikasa could say anything, helping him to a bench by the table. "You must be careful. You're still healing you know!"

The green eyed boy took in Krista's concerned face with a warm smile. "I'm alright, it's just a bruise. Thanks Krista. "

Mikasa watched everything from a distance, eyes cast down on her own feet at the sight of Eren warmly smiling at Krista. She had done the same earlier, yet what she received in return was a scolding. Trying with all her might to not express her concern for Eren, she held her hands by her sides, walking out of the hall quietly. 

And nobody noticed she left.

*****

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing himself away from his desk which was piled high with neat stacks of paper. All this paperwork Erwin assigned him had taken him three days to complete, and he had finally finished the last set. 

His mind drifted to Mikasa and the conversation they shared a bright sunny afternoon a few days ago in the training courtyard. She looked so sad, her eyes welling up with tears, and despite him not knowing the exact reason himself, he didn't comfort her, nor did he try to ease her mind in any way. He just grabbed her forcefully by the scarf she valued so much. 

The scene stuck in Levi's mind despite him trying desperately to clear it off ever since they talked in the courtyard. It seemed as if he was going crazy over Mikasa in a rather obsessive way. And the way his heart skipped a beat whenever she came into sight scared him. 

"Tch, what am I thinking about now?"

"What the hell is wrong with my head? Mikasa…"

The Captain grunted, squeezing his fatigued eyes shut. He must've been so tired, even his brain was playing tricks on himself. 

His stomach lightly grumbled, explaining how hungry he was as he leaned back in the chair, and the captain groaned. 'Food it is then,' he thought, taking care to stand on his good leg. He then slowly walked out of his room and headed towards the mess hall. 

*****

Running up the stairs that led to the barracks, Mikasa brushed away a tear that slipped down her cheek in her haste to run away. 

Eren's smile played in her head again and again, making her wonder why wasn't it her the one he smiled to, but Krista. 

She definitely couldn't blame the girl. After all, she was the girl the Survey Corps needed, a sweet, cheerful angel amidst the depressed, gloomy soldiers. 

Her steps slowed to a halt, and Mikasa gripped the railing tightly, moving to lean on it. The stairs overlooked the entrance of the main doors and the main hall of the Survey Corps headquarters, with the Wings of Freedom emblem hanging high on the wall facing the door. 

Sighting, the girl leaned on the railing, laying her head down on her folded arms that were on the wooden surface while studying the emblem. It was clean, just like any other part of the headquarters due to Captain Levi's insane cleaning methods. She could lie down on the floor without a care given how many times they've cleaned the area again and again, multiple times a day. 

Why was she even here? Why was she here risking her life to slay Titans and protect humanity?

'No, not humanity,' she corrected herself inwardly, eyes falling back down to the ground beneath her. 'I'm here to protect Eren. And Armin.'

She had given up so much just to be with him. Yet it seemed like he didn't return her feelings at all. 

"Brat, what are you doing here?"

That voice. She stood upright from her previous position and almost lost her balance, quickly saluting after she regained her footing on the narrow step. 

"Good evening, Captain." She swiftly greeted, looking away from Levi to avoid his intense gaze. 

Levi let out a huff, nodding in response to acknowledge her. "At ease, Ackerman. What were you doing just now? You were staring so intently at the Scouting Legion emblem as if you could see through the walls."

She blinked a few times, stealing a quick glance at the man before looking away with disinterest again. "Oh I was just… thinking."

"Thinking? You have much better things to do than that."

"Well, I just would like to think for a moment. Is that a sin?"

After Mikasa's retort, both of them stood in silence, staring at each other. Neither wanted to say a word, the atmosphere tense between the two. 

Levi sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was about to grab some tea. Would you like to join me?"

It was very unlike him for Levi to invite anyone for tea, especially herself. But instead of declining, Mikasa answered while tossing one end of her scarf over her shoulder: "I'd love to, Captain."


	4. Tea With The Captain

In the boys barracks, Armin sat on the side of Eren's bed, applying some salve with a cotton ball to the bruise, which formed a bump on his brunette's forehead. He laid his head on Armin's lap, feet propped up on the frame of his bed, which was the lower bunk. Armin claimed the one on top. 

"Hey Armin, how do you think I should apologize to Mikasa?" Eren asked, wincing a little at the pain when his friend rubbed the ointment on his bruise. 

Armin raised an eyebrow at his question. "Hm? Why? Did you do something again?"

With a sigh, Eren slightly shook his head, refusing to explain. He really regretted shouting at his foster sister that way, but her behavior had really got on his nerves. 

Seeing Eren refusing to answer, Jean chided in from the side. "Of course he did, Armin! He made her sad!"

Armin quickly looked at Jean, dropping the cotton ball out of his hand in surprise and it landed on Eren's right eye. "Hey, Armin!" He cried out, prying the soft, soggy ball away from his eye. 

"He told Mikasa to back off when she warned him of challenging me, then got all cozy with Ms Lenz when she was the one who told her the exact same thing! How rude was that?! Jean continued, lying on his side on his bed with his head propped up with a hand, looking at them. 

At the mention of Krista, Eren's cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, and he quickly hid it by faking a cough so he could cover his mouth. 

The blonde boy angrily snatched the cotton away from Eren, pushing him up from his lap. "What did you do that for, Eren? Mikasa must be so hurt right now!"

"What the hell, Armin. That's why I want to apologize!"

"You really gotta take care of that mouth of yours, Eren. You might hurt others even if you didn't mean to!" Connie approached them with a towel wrapped around his neck. "I hope Mikasa isn't crying alone right now."

"I sure hope she isn't. If she is, I'll kill you Titan boy." Jean interjected, turning away from them and wrapped himself in his blanket to sleep. 

*****

"What tea would you like?" Levi held up a kettle, filling it with water and put it on the stove to boil. He grabbed a canister of black tea leaves from a shelf behind him, pausing when Mikasa did not respond. 

He turned to the back where Mikasa sat, arms folded promptly on the table, staring at the wall in front of her blankly. Her red scarf was no longer around her neck, folded neatly and placed aside. "Hey brat, I asked you a question."

Snapping out of her daze, the girl blinked and looked at Levi for a moment before answering respectfully. "Oh yes, captain. Any tea would do."

"Humph." Levi huffed, returning to prepare his tea. He noticed how Mikasa wasn't acting like her usual self, where she would be alert and at the ready at all times, she was now daydreaming and constantly in a daze. "What's wrong with you? You're not like this." He asked while putting out the fire on the stove after the water boiled. 

With a slight shake of her head, Mikasa answered: “It’s nothing, Captain. Even if I told you it, you wouldn’t fully understand.” She ran her fingers through her short hair, smoothing the wayward strands. Eren was still tugging onto her heart, her entire being, and she silently struggled under the weight of his presence. Had she never noticed how tired she was to bear the burden of his harsh words? His tempers? Maybe she didn’t yet, but with Levi, she actually had a chance to clear her head of such a pressure.

Levi was quiet as he walked out of the kitchen and into the quiet hall, holding a steaming cup of tea in each hand. Approaching Mikasa, he gently set down one of the cups before her, nudging it towards the girl. He then took a seat beside her, pushing the red scarf away from his seat. “What makes you think I can’t understand, brat? Have you always thought I was so… dimwitted?”

“Dimwitted is a rather blunt and strong word, sir. I’d never think of you that way.”

“Then what is holding you back?”

Mikasa bit her lower lip, cupping both her hands around the warm mug. Her nimble fingers traced the white porcelain surface, her cold palms absorbing heat from the freshly brewed tea. She lowered her head in embarrassment for not trusting her own Captain enough, but still… 

Annoyed at her silence, the captain rolled his eyes, sipping his tea. He put down the cup with a huff. “Look, Mikasa. If this is about Eren then I think you don’t need to say anything more. I completely understand.” 

“What exactly do you understand, Captain? If you don’t mind me asking?” Mikasa answered a little too quickly, eyes darting to Levi beside her. She stared at him for a moment, gulping as her captain drank another mouthful of tea, returning her stare as he put his cup down. She then quickly averted her gaze to the wall, biting her lower lip nervously. 

“That you deeply love him. I’ve noticed, Mikasa. You always request to be near Eren no matter the circumstances, and the obvious way you’ve been protecting him. It’s really really obvious, I can say even Commander Eyebrows knows about it.” 

With a look of disbelief, the raven haired girl turned back to the man and opened her mouth to argue, but he stopped her with an outstretched hand, rolling his eyes. “I know, you’re gonna say you don’t, right brat? Too bad, you were never good at lying.”

“Fine, you know about it then.” Mikasa huffed, staring blankly back at Levi with a frown. “So what about that?”

“Don’t you think this is draining? This… always being protective of him, being worried over him without ever having the feelings returned? When you know that, deep down, you’ve been wasting the moments of your life for someone who doesn’t appreciate it, don’t you want to give up?”

Dumbfounded at the questions Levi fired at her, Mikasa’s mouth fell open, realizing that what he asked matched the scars on her patched up heart. That moment felt oddly relieving, she felt as if someone finally understood her inside out through the storm and rain, and the threads binding her fragile hope together didn’t seem too tight anymore.

“You… know me very well, Captain.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. How does it matter anyways?”

The tea in their cups cooled, steam rising into the air in wisps. Perhaps it was Levi’s silence after his question, or Mikasa being unable to answer that froze time, making the passing of the littlest of seconds stretch on like an eternity. “Of course it matters, Captain Levi. I don’t know why, but it does.”

She paused, continuing in a lower voice. “To me, it does.” 

A sigh escaped Levi’s lips, and he quickly pushed the scarlet red scarf towards her on the table, grabbing his tea in one hand and standing up with a push with the other. “You want to know something, brat?”

“Hmm?”

“I wonder, if you could see who really cares for you and loves you, how different this would turn out right now. Just if you weren’t a stubborn brat. You’d see how much others love you.”

As he moved to leave, Mikasa quickly grabbed his left wrist, preventing him from walking away. The tea in his cup splashed violently against the walls of the white porcelain cup due to the impact, and he barely was able to prevent it from spilling over. “What are you talking about, sir? Please give me an explanation.”

“You’ll know soon enough, brat. You will, I promise.” He snatched his wrist away from Mikasa’s grasp, leaving her stunned in her seat once again as she looked longingly at his receding form, walking out of the mess hall with quiet footsteps. 

Once he was sure that she was already out of earshot, Levi quietly muttered to himself: “One day, when you get rid of your stubbornness, and your obsession for the Titan brat, you’ll see how much I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* Another chapter out! I know this took me longer than I could, but sometimes I get so caught up in my work I don't have time to write haha XD
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Thank you for reading :)


	5. Come on, Let's Go.

_ Two loud and firm knocks were heard in the middle of the night, and Hange who was just reading notes on her Titan experiments, raised a brow at the sound. Who on earth was still wide awake at night and chose to come to her? In a slightly wary tone, she called out to the person outside her door. “Come in!” _

_ The wooden door creaked on its hinges as it was pushed open, and a familiar short, yet well built figure with raven-black hair appeared, closing the door behind him once he entered. Levi was still in his uniform, arms crossed across his chest with his usual look of indifference on his face. Hange was surprised to see him in her room at this late of night, but still remain seated on her chair and waited to see what Levi was here to do.  _

_ “Four eyes, can you tell me more about… someone?” The captain asked, approaching Hange at her desk. “I’m curious about her.” _

_ Still slightly stunned, she quickly gestured to an empty chair. “Of course Levi, now take a seat!”  _

_ The screech of a chair being dragged across the wooden floor by Levi made Hange slightly wince as he sat down, but quickly she recomposed herself and sat up straighter. "Now tell me what's the problem."  _

_ "Have you talked to a soldier by the name Mikasa Ackerman?" Levi's question came out a little rushed, his tongue slurred over the words. "As in talk to her? Not a shitty greeting like you idiots always do." _

_ "Talk? I think I did. But she only told me about the Jaeger family adopting her ever since her parents died. What about her though?" _

_ The Captain remained silent and averted his gaze, ignoring Hange's question. But the soft tint of pink gradually forming on his cheeks didn't escape her expert eye.  _

_ "Levi? Are you blushing?" Hange asked in a playful tone, leaning forward on the table so she could get a closer look at his reddened cheeks.  _

_ At her question, Levi looked away from her, trying in vain to hide the fact that he was indeed turning into a peach. "What the hell four eyes? I'm not!" _

_ "Oh yes you are, shorty! It's so rare to see you crushing on someone. It's so cute!" _

_ "But… for real, four eyes. What is wrong with me?" _

_ Hange was taken aback by his earnest look, and decided to tone her laughter down. "It's not wrong to like someone, Levi. It's something we all experience! It's what makes us human." _

_ A heavy sigh escaped Levi, and he replied: "All I can think about is her. Ever since the time I confronted her in the training courtyard." _

_ Resting her chin in her hand that was propped up on the table, Hange said in a suggestive manner: "Hmm… Why don't you drop hints for her?" _

_ "Hints? Are you out of your mind, four eyes?" Levi huffed.  _

_ "Yeah, hints! Make more eye contact with her, maybe care for her more? Anything you can think of!" _

_ Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Captain sighed heavily. "Anything? I think I came to the wrong person to talk about this." _

_ "As long as you respect her choices and actions, you should be fine, shorty! By the way, you look so cute when you're in love." The woman chuckled, leaning back in her chair. It was a rare sight to see this grumpy, short tempered captain in love, and she was determined to make it happen.  _

_ Standing up from his seat, Levi let out a sigh, pushing the chair back to its original position. "I'm not cute, you idiot. If you dare say that again, I'll not catch any titans for your crazy experiments again. At least I can spare them the agony." _

_ Hange pouted after she realized she said something she shouldn't have said, shouting after the leaving captain. "Please don't! I want a Titan!" _

_ But it seems as if Levi couldn't hear her, smirking to himself in the shadows of the dark hallway.  _

*****

  
  


It was a dull rainy morning, the pitter patter of raindrops on the roofs accompanied by soft rumbles of thunder echoing throughout the sky. Mikasa loved rainy days, and she could sit by the window for a long time, staring out at the grayish sky, which was exactly what she was doing on her day off. It was who she was after all, gray and dull, a lifeless being. 

Drinking another sip of her warm tea, the liquid invigorating her taste buds on her tongue, something struck her. Mikasa furrowed her brows, raising her cup by the handle to eye level. When on earth had she liked to drink tea?

Then she remembered the night Captain Levi invited her to drink tea, that was when she first started liking it. Before the incident, Mikasa always thought of tea as a proper and formal type of beverage, something that people with elevated statuses could ever enjoy. ‘Does that mean Captain Levi is someone important? Oh wait, of course. He’s Humanity’s Strongest.’

Then again, why did he invite her out of everyone? Biting her lip, she quickly made a mental list of possible reasons. Well, she was standing in his way at the stairs, but he could’ve just walked past. On top of that, she was a little sad at the moment, maybe that made him pity her and wanted to not make her feel alone?

‘Oh god, what am I thinking?’ Mikasa internally chastised herself, shaking her head vigorously to clear the thoughts. ‘He probably had lots of tea that he wanted to clear out, so having a drinking buddy made it faster. Oh yes, that must be it.’

Finishing her tea in two mouthfuls, Mikasa placed the cup gently on the window sill, observing it carefully. It was a teacup she took from the mess hall kitchen, but she wasn’t sure who it actually belonged to. Captain Erwin? Or maybe Hange-san? Or…

Oh shit. 

‘Could the cup actually be Captain Levi’s?’ She let out a gasp, shooting up from her seat. In the midst of doing that, her hand pushed the delicate porcelain down from the window sill, sending it crashing to the floor with a crash. 

Watching the broken pieces of the teacup with widened eyes, Mikasa let out a curse for being foolish, quickly wandering around the room she was in for a broom and dustpan. She searched in every nook and cranny, panicking at the fact that there was none in here. Where were the cleaning supplies when you needed them?! 

The girl eventually gave up searching, and knelt down by the mess she made. She wasn’t sure who’s cup it was yet, but she reminded herself to apologize to the owner and go to the markets this afternoon to buy another to compensate for her foolishness. Surely there would be the exact same one!

Nimbly, Mikasa picked up one of the pieces, placing it in her other palm. She carefully avoided the sharp edges, picking another one up. Once she was done, she quickly stood up, carrying the pieces with both hands and deposited them in a dustbin in the room except for one with a gold edge and a lily painted on the surface, letting out a sigh of relief. At least that was done, now she had to confirm who owned the cup, then buy one exact same one outside. She put the piece in a breast pocket of her uniform, and quickly left the room. 

*****

“Hey Erwin, you’re cheating!” Hange shouted, pointing a finger at the Commander as he grinned slyly, shrugging innocently. 

“I didn’t do anything! I wanted to put my ‘X’ in the middle!” He retorted, pouting and putting his pen down. 

Levi sat in a corner, rolling his eyes at the two. “Hey you two idiots, it's just a game. And Eyebrows, don’t you dare pout or I’ll feed you to the Titans.”

“This new game is so fun! Who knew we could invent such a game, huh Erwin? What should we name it though?” Hange asked excitedly, drawing an ‘O’ beside the Commander’s ‘X’ in the grid they drew.

After a moment of thinking, Erwin looked at Hange eagerly, and said: “How about Tic Tac Toe?”

“Tic Tac Toe? That’s random!”

“Well, at least it's cute! Don’t take all the credit for yourself, I did contribute as well!”

As the two bickered on, Levi impatiently sighed, looking away from them. Erwin and Hange had become closer ever since their last mission together. And he had to admit, they looked cute. Levi showed no emotion on the surface regarding romantic relationships, but deep inside, he felt warm and fuzzy, sometimes even hoping he could have someone by his side in that way. 

His mind absently drifted to Mikasa, the gloomy brat who was always against him in such a way he was clueless how she managed to keep it up. But still, she was perfect just the way she was. Mikasa Ackerman might be a hotheaded, boring brat, but he would not trade the original her for anything in the world. She was perfect in every way as herself. 

‘Knock, knock.’ “Sir, are you in there?”

Erwin and Hange stopped squabbling, and the commander asked aloud: “Yes, I’m in here. Who’s asking?”

The voice came out muffled due to the heavy wooden door in the way, making it hard to discern the speaker, but it still reiterated clearly enough for the three of them to hear. “Mikasa Ackerman, sir. I have a… um… question. And an apology.”

At the mention of her name, Hange slowly turned to Levi, chuckling as she raised an eyebrow at him expectedly as Levi shrugged as if nothing happened, while Erwin, who didn’t know what was going on, frowned at the both of them, mouthing: ‘You will tell me what’s going on.’ before walking to the door, opening it with ease. 

Mikasa walked in, eyes falling on the short captain to her right just in time to catch him staring indifferently at her. She exhaled sharply, and instead of returning his gaze, she looked away submissively. Her actions were questionable to Levi, who assumed she’d stare back at him the way he did her. What is she about to say anyways? An apology?

“I’m here to ask if any of you owned this cup.” Mikasa asked, pulling the shard she kept in her breast pocket and placed it on the table gently. The white porcelain piece had a painting of a lily, with a gold rim. “I accidentally broke it earlier, and I’m very sorry for my foolishness.”

To get a closer look, Erwin, Hange and Levi walked closer and huddled over the shard on the table, eyebrows furrowed as they tried to discern if it was their own. It was quiet for two whole minutes before Levi spoke up: “It’s mine, you idiots. So can you all stop pretending to study the shitty piece of porcelain?”

Mikasa held her breath for a moment, biting her lip in frustration. ‘Of course, it happened to be the captain’s cup, out of everyone on earth. It must be him.’ “Sir, I’m really sorry for breaking it.” She slightly bowed, as part of her apology. “May I ask where I can find the exact same one? I will buy another for you, sir.”

Erwin and Hange backed off to a corner of the room, whispering to each other behind hands. “What? Are those two a thing or-?” Erwin asked, but yet to finish his sentence before Hange interrupted. “No, but shorty has feelings for her!” 

And when the commander gave her an incredulous look, Hange slapped his forearm, shushing the man almost instantly. “He told me it himself, Erwin. How dare you don’t believe me?” 

“How was I supposed to know?”

As the two continued on, Levi and Mikasa stood further away, staring at each other without a word. However, the captain broke the silence, his gaze never straying from Mikasa. “You’re most likely unable to find another one. I bought the last cup, as per the seller back then.”

That made Mikasa feel even more guiltier, the want to dig a hole and bury herself in it was almost unbearable. “Sir, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even looking when I chose a cup in the kitchen.” 

Levi sighed, grabbing his coat from the coat hanger by the door. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Go where, captain?” The girl asked, raising her head from looking at her boots. 

“You said you’d buy a new one for me, so let’s go now.” He called back, walking out into the corridor.

Levi’s sudden enthusiasm took her aback, but Mikasa guessed that she didn’t have another choice. She wordlessly followed after him, stopping to slowly close the door behind her after nodding at Erwin and Hange, still stunned at Levi’s sudden change in behaviour. 

“What was I looking at, Erwin? Levi actually asked Mikasa to go with him?! I can’t believe it!” Hange happily chirped, walking back to the paper where she and the commander left their game off. When Erwin gave her a reluctant shrug, she sighed, picking her pen up in her hand again. “So, where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I really need to apologise for the slow update XD   
> Hope you'll all like this chapter! And do stay tuned for more!
> 
> With love,  
> Aery :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan fanfic. I do hope those that read it would enjoy my work and if you would like to drop a comment on how I could further improve my writing, please do so! I'd be honored to receive constructive criticism and feedback from my readers. Thank you ^^


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